Among friends, we often joke that dancing is like a drug and count down the days until the next opportunity to dance. It has now been more than 15 years of passion, shared with my best friends, some of whom have fallen by the wayside. Some have started families, others have lost their jobs, and some have moved away. But there are also those who, after much effort, have lost their passion, and in this article I want to talk to you about this phenomenon of seemingly sudden loss of enthusiasm.
What causes some people, who are passionate and have been devoted to their art for years, to give up out of apathy? Today, I’m going to talk about two phenomena: burnout, which occurs when dancing becomes a source of mental and physical exhaustion, and “satiety”, i.e. the loss of enthusiasm due to a lack of stimulation.
Burnout
Burnout is a phenomenon sadly known for its high incidence among workers. It is a psychological and physical breakdown caused by constant, continuous, and prolonged stress; it has a heavy and negative impact on the quality of life of those affected.
How is it possible that dancing can become a source of so much stress that it leads to a breakdown?
It happens when dance is experienced from a perspective that promotes this stress, for example as a form of competition (with oneself or with others). It also happens when dance is the only source of happiness/release in life in an unhealthy or toxic environment – which is far from rare, and something I will discuss in a future post.
In both cases, the source of stress is the feeling of not being able to control the situation, a situation that one tries in vain to change.
We live in societies that have taken the sense of social harmony to extremes, with the result that interpersonal relationships have become incredibly superficial. We are a touchy people, overly selective in our friendships, lacking in interpersonal resilience.
It is not surprising that someone who finds great satisfaction in dancing decides to throw themselves into it headlong, neglecting everything else. It may happen that, because of the great satisfaction it brings, dancing takes up more and more space in everyday life, leading to rapid and significant improvement in skills. In this situation, it is easy to raise the bar of one’s expectations to the point of wanting to become “perfect” at all costs – this is the trap I urge you not to fall into.
Now, in all activities, initial progress is very rapid and tangible. But at more advanced levels one must work harder and harder for small improvements. Furthermore, when you are very good, you can fall into the trap of viewing dancing from a distorted perspective, believing that others should also learn to dance decently – there is, however, something very reasonable about this expectation.
Be careful, though, not to view dancing as a race towards perfection and, at the same time, perceive the environment as “wrong”. Unfortunately, this perspective generates a lot of frustration and negative feelings, stress, which over time inevitably lead to exhaustion, burnout, and consequent abandonment and a strong sense of disappointment with the “unfair world”.
For example, at social dance, participants are expected to attend or have attended classes – no one, absolutely no one, wants to waste time dancing with people who are there because they have nothing else to do – and other participants are also expected to be polite and somewhat willing to dance – inviting and being invited without frequent rejections. These are all things that are part of basic good manners and mutual respect.
I have experienced this many times myself: places where dancers never take the initiative to invite others and are quick to reject invitations are places that I consider unhealthy and frustrating. Escalation is inevitable: because of their closed attitude, people look for a regular dance partner to practice with and end up dancing only with each other, thus making the experience of dancing with other dancers unfulfilling, which in turn fuels the desire not to invite, to reject invitations, and to close oneself off further. These places are not “social” at all, and there is no solution: you have to stop going there.
However, those like me who invest significant resources in dancing find it difficult to let go, especially since the problem is limited to a local “closed-mind” dancing life. When there is no way out – for example, when there are no other places to go dancing – stress levels rise and burnout looms.
There is no solution. You need to find an alternative to dancing (another hobby that gives you satisfaction) or move to a healthier environment. I have personally had similar experiences, which I would describe as toxic, and I decided to move elsewhere: a choice that proved to be successful in my case.
Before making any drastic decisions, try to figure out if you’re at risk of burnout – there’s a surefire way to do this: if you come home smiling after dancing, then you don’t have to worry. If not, seriously ask yourself if it’s worth it.
I’d like to share a thought with you here.
The dance environment depends on other people and current trends: we cannot control it and we must either accept it, resign ourselves to it, or abandon it.
However, we do have power over how we experience dance and the importance we attach to it. The message I would like to leave you with is that wanting to improve is healthy and natural, but wanting to improve at all costs is destructive.
Satiety
Satiety is, in a sense, the healthy version of burnout. Satiety is a completely natural and normal phenomenon, an adaptive response, an evolutionary mechanism of us Homo sapiens. In short, we quickly become accustomed to a phenomenon if we are repeatedly exposed to it.
Psychological adaptation occurs in everything in our lives and can be easily explained in this way: novelty attracts and excites us, but over time this enthusiasm wanes, until we become indifferent. In short, the feeling of satiety arises from the natural adaptation of our reward system to repetitive stimuli.
The phenomenon of satiety does not negatively affect our quality of life and, for this reason, it is not something to be “wary” of, nor can we speak of “risks” in the strict sense. However, loss of interest causes people to give up dancing, which is a real shame!
The more we dance, the less pleasure we find in doing so
I have met many passionate people who have fallen into this trap. They all gave up dancing after a flying start.
From a practical point of view, this is roughly what happens: the initial enthusiasm drives us to want to improve by attending all possible classes and going dancing at every opportunity.
The point is that increased performance does not guarantee a corresponding increase in perceived satisfaction, while exaggeration leads to a natural loss of enthusiasm. In short, you get bored. Satiety sets in after many months, sometimes years: it is not so obvious or easy to spot, and by the time you realize that something is wrong, it is already late – perhaps too late.
The aim of this post is to make you aware of the existence of this trap so that you can understand if you are “at risk” and how to avoid falling into it.
Anyone who dances regularly more than twice a week (between classes and social dance evenings) is potentially at risk, and in this case, I suggest reevaluating the frequency so that you remain involved beyond the initial novelty phase. Introducing new elements or creating creative variations is also of little or no use.
I limit my participation to a maximum of twice a week, or I participate in dance evenings for a maximum of two hours, so as to limit the impact.
There may be particular periods when you dance more often and for longer – that’s fine – but I counterbalance this with equally long periods of “fasting”, for example, not dancing for a week or two.
I know, it’s easier said than done! 😀
Sustainability
For some people, like me, dancing is a way of life. Like everything else, I believe it is important to live sustainably over time and, for this reason, to be aware of things that are not going well so that you can anticipate your next moves and always keep your salsa spirit high!
I hope this article is helpful and that you share it with anyone who you think might benefit from reading it.
Now excuse me, I’m off to dance!